I shouldn't feel the need

I shouldn’t feel the need to hold my keys in between my knuckles.

I shouldn’t feel that i shouldn’t listen to music in headphones while walking around the city.

I shouldn’t feel the need to lock my car immediately as soon as i get in.

I shouldn’t feel the need to check under and around my car at night.

I shouldn’t have a wave of anxiety when I’m walking alone and a group of men pass by.

I shouldn’t need to think about if my footwear is appropriate for running.

I shouldn’t need to live my life in constant fear that today it could be me.

Not only do I, but the majority of women have had these thoughts cross through our minds. These things have just felt “normal” ever since we were young.

Ask any woman if they’ve had any experiences where they felt threatened or uncomfortable and they’ll confirm at least one instance. Catcalling, repeatedly gotten asked a question even though they’ve denied multiple times, gotten stared at up and down, felt like/have been followed, turned onto another street immediately because they felt like someone was following them.

In the UK, 97% of women ages 18-24 have experienced sexual harassment, and more than 70% of women of ALL ages have experienced such behavior (UN Women UK YouGov survey). These are stats of just the UK, imagine the entire world’s.

Stop your friends from saying and taking action of silly things. Don’t let them slide as “jokes.” Have conversations that surround this topic. It’s not okay that women feel and live like this.

When describing a time when a woman has been cat-called and felt uncomfortable, and when a man says that it was just a compliment or being friendly… he is part of the problem. Someone looking at me up and down and saying “DAYMN, look at you hottie, can I have your number???” is absolutely not a compliment. You can say “I love your top!” as a compliment, but when it’s followed by “can I have your number???” absolutely not.

“Text me when you get home” has been a staple in my goodbyes with people.

Feeling anxious and checking all around and under your car shouldn’t be something that comes with being a woman.

Rest In Peace, Sarah 🤍

I’ve been blessed and thankful to have some guy friends and family who have checked in, who have made sure I’ve gotten home safely, never made me feel uncomfortable/feared. We never said all men. “It’s just enough men to make it a social problem and not a personal one.”

Feel safe isn’t something to be earned, it’s a right.

I wrote some of this back in September but never got to editing and uploading it - it had gotten lost in my notes folder. I had a flick through to find it, and added some more content and info. This topic needed to be talked about.